Many parents lose a twin in the first trimester without even knowing. Research reveals there are one in ten womb twin survivors around the world, and many do not know it.

 Research has also confirmed that the survivor experiences a womb trauma leaves a sense of absolute powerlessness that filters into other areas of life. It is not that difficult to understand if we identify ourselves as a Soul: the container for memories and emotions. 

My womb story was revealed during a two-week creative movement therapy intensive I was practicing and aiming to deliver on retreats. It has been life-changing. For over three months following my experience I had ninety dreams which I chronicled in my book “Womb World’ about how living as a womb twin survivor impacted my life. Without ‘Spirit in Practice’ and ‘Creative Movement Therapy’ my story would have remained in my subconscious triggering an unknown trauma and I truly believe I would not be alive today, so great was the emotional pain impacting on my health 

Now I must honour the journey and raise the profile of womb twin survival because this story could be yours, and my story can shine light on your story. Below are some of my womb twin related experiences. I never knew all these indicators were about survival guilt and shame. This has been my experience and you might relate.

• Unexplained unhappiness
• Unexplained sense of guilt and shame
• Unexplained health issues
• Unexplained stress, anxiety and depression
• A pattern of unfulfilling relationships, never finding the love you want and cant trust love anyway.
• Trying to control everything from your mind
• Feel like you live from the neck up
• Disconnect from a benevolent loving spiritual force you could rely on that is keeping you safe, inspiring, guiding and supporting you
• Think you must do life alone, and work everything out yourself
• Emotional repression becomes your only source of survival.
•  Always searching for something, but don't know what
• Walking in circles getting nowhere, despite being more than capable
• Always on the move, changing jobs, changing houses, even partners and communities in a subconscious effort to find your twin
• Emotionally repressed and denied it. To confront emotions of grief brought up feelings of blame, shame and guilt and also the finality and acceptance to the loss you consciously don't know about and subconsciously not ready to let go
• A sense of absolute powerlessness to affect change in any situation. A womb trauma feels insurmountable, as though as a fetus, there is absolutely nothing that can be done; a belief that carries through the lifespan
• Unexplained long-term unhappiness, stress, anxiety, and depression
• Avoided birthday celebrations,
• Fence sitting. For female male twins there could be a duality; neither fully feminine nor masculine, a direct result of being the female survivor of a male/female twinset and trying to live life for your twin
• A deep connection to your inner world, as though subconsciously you know this is where you will find your lost twin. 
• Partners or friends could never say or do the right thing, always left disappointed.
• The 'Alpha' male in a relationship. Have to be in control, can't let down your guard, risk anyone seeing into you and discovering what you might subconsciously think to be the truth; you are responsible for your twin’s death
• Can't relax, someone would die if you aren't on watch (and they did: your twin)
• Agonize over decisions. subconsciously deferring to your twin. 'What would he/she want' is the subconscious drive behind every decision. 
• Resisting healing. believed nothing works but the truth is deep inside you think you don't deserve to heal
• Food intolerances, allergies, and gut issues. The tissue of the vanishing twin is absorbed by the remaining embryo and the mother creating a subconscious belief you stole your twins nourishment and don't deserve health
• Fear police, judges, and lawyers; feel like you've done something wrong, but never know what
• Measure yourself by how others cope, and always fall short
• Disconnected from your body, feel like nobody is home, numb out, living from the neck up. This is a trauma response. Your body does not feel like a safe place for you
• Trauma triggered in certain situations, could even be a smell or a word, but don't know why
• For women, you can be terrified of pregnancy. When I discovered my first pregnancy, I went into a trauma response and terminated. I later learnt pregnancy was the scene of the perceived crime, the place where I believed I was responsible for what happened to my twin
• Very sensitive. Your radar goes out and reads a room subconsciously searching for your twin
• Withhold, guarded and very private and even been called ‘an enigma’. Afraid people would 'see-into-you and discover your womb secret
• Feel swamped by others energy, but actually invite it in from a subconscious knowing your twin is an energy being. He/she might materialize in someone else's energy
• Driven; living life to overwhelm through one project after another an attempt to live for your twin
• For me, I researched and explored a plethora of wellbeing modalities in a subconscious effort to find the elixir of wellbeing that would bring my twin back to life.

 What’s On Offer to Support You?

Blessing Ceremony: 21stDecember International Womb Twin Memorial Day.

Spirit in Practice Lifestyle Program, Creative Movement Therapy Retreats

If you are interested in discovering how being a womb twin survivor

 influenced my decision to terminate a pregnancy without being aware of it.